Although this term is widely accepted as a clinical description for Autism, I believe it embodies the beauty of how neurodivergence can present itself uniquely across humanity, with a hint of mysticism that these traits come from an ultimate source. 

As someone with a brain geared to psychology, I take this as the colored fractals each being their own unique expression of consciousness, all contributing to the bigger picture of humanity.

“Neurodivergence” is an umbrella term that encapsulates so many types of the human experience; Autism, ADHD, Aspergers, Dyslexia, and many other forms of speech, developmental, and learning differences. There are diverse levels of functioning, mental health, and societal engagement that vary in these experiences. We are also finding more and more overlap in these diagnosies as the research continues. So, you can see how they all might fit onto the same spectrum.  

Sensitivty as a Gift 

All too often we see these sensitivities lead people to isolation, shame in facing social stigmas, restricted independence, and limited contribution to society. Yet there are thousands of famous scientists, artists, and leaders who have been known or speculated to be somewhere on this spectrum of neurodivergence.

Albert Eistein and Isaac Newton were known to have social difficulties, delayed speech, and to engage in repetitive actions (stimming). Clinical interpretations of Leonardo Davinci’s journals show dyslexic and ADHD tendencies. More modern examples include Susan Boyle (famous singer who shocked the world on Britain’s Got Talent), Greta Thunberg (a remarkable climate change activist), Sia (famous singer and songwriter), Elon Musk (CEO of Tesla and SpaceX), Bill Gates (founder of Microsoft). Politics aside, you must admit these people are successful, passionate, and have offered monumental things to humanity.

Each has offered their own channel of light (intuitive knowledge and a willingness to follow it), with different degrees of refraction (science, music, environment, technology), contributing to the larger picture of humanity. 

Neurodivergent expressions of consciousness hold so much power, if we could only get past the stigmas and percieved limitations. Greta Thunberg once said about her Asperger’s diagnosis “given the right circumstances, being different is a superpower.”

Let’s improve your circumstances, shall we?

This is where we can create a space to work, a space where magic can happen. There are many ways we cannot control our circumstances in life, but with time spent focusing on the things we can control, we begin to shape our reality, and the things outside of our control fall into place.

The things we can control are the resources and support we seek, which is why I do not require a full criteria diagnosis to take a neurodivergent approach with clients. More importantly, the larger factor we can control is the way we view ourselves.  

While you may not be able to change the way some people see you, you can change the way you see yourself.

When you start to tolerate, accept, and love yourself, you begin to create your circumstance. You begin to carve out a space to offer your unique fractal of light to the bigger picture. 

Whether it be writing, singing, art, dancing, thought leadership, scientific exploration and discovery, politics, or whatever it is you’re called to; you have something special to offer the world.

Let’s not pretend that we’ve hacked the biological need to impact our surroundings.

Whether or not you develop the confidence to do so, is up to you and the support you are willing to seek. This can make the difference between tumultuous self-esteem and steady confidence.

Self-Acceptance and Tools

The way I approach neurodivergence is a combination of self-acceptance and learning new tools. 

The trauma processing is what helps us explore self-acceptance. Through EMDR, we would focus on times you felt different, times you felt like a failure, or times that you were taught to limit the ways you express yourself. We can reframe the negative things this made you think about yourself, to carve a path for the positive self-talk. 

A larger portion of self-acceptance is simply exploring your brand of neurodivergence. Which symptoms fit for you, and which don’t? As the adage goes, awareness is the first step.

Awareness creates moments of grace, which leaves some wiggle room for excitement and exploring new skills.

The skills portion of my approach to neurodivergent therapy builds off of this, and would include re-framing what type of social and communication skills you want to have (not the laundry list of one’s society wants you to have), exploring creative outlets for your energy, creating routine that works with your natural rhythm, nerding out on your interests to explore your purpose, as well as learning your needs, boundaries, and ways to communicate them.  

Let’s get personal. 

To speak to my own journey through this process, I have found my brand of neurodivergence to be ADHD inattentive presentation, recovering people pleaser, deeply and anxiously sensitive to rejection, which leads to big empathy and a knack for seeing the best in people, and all of this being masked by hyper-independence.

After learning these nuances, I began to accept routines of self-care that are a must if I want to maintain a job, motherhood, a sense of authenticity, and not be a ball of anxiety and irritability. First things first, my brain and body need exercise and movement to regulate the hyperactivity in my brain; so this includes taking my dog for regular walks, dancing, and practicing yoga as routinely as possible (notice the gentle language I use with myself – as routinely as possible – not 5 times a week or every single day). 

I have also accepted I might have to be zoned out or quiet as I get used to new social enviornments, I tend to be this way for a while while I observe, and evetually start opening up. This means I have also accepted a need for social recovery time; journaling through interactions that are racking my brain, processing the guilt of missing social ques, keeping friends on speed dial who help me validate myself, etc. This helps me assess my needs and boundaries, and explore what my next layer of authentically is. 

My novelty craving ADHD brain also needs excitement every once and a while, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to plan for excitement to prevent harmful impulsivity. Every so often I challenge myself to a difficult hike, get a tattoo, go to a show, go snowboarding, you know, adrenaline type things.

All of this allows me to keep a routine while still having some fun in life, so I end up having more space to channel some of my passions into therapy, writing, singing, dancing, mom-ing, and life-ing. I know I make a small impact, and I feel much more authentic and joyful while doing it than ever before.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have my days, and there is always new layers of self-acceptance to be found and new tools to be created. You’ll hear me say it a million times; challenges give us new opportunities for the next layer of self-acceptence and tools. 

The Sauce

A client (who I have permission from to quote here) recently said, “I think I just need to let myself be the Autistic person that I am.” She was referring to allowing herself to stim in public, accepting that she might need noise cancelling headphones, and starting to practice social recovery time. Since doing so, she has spent more time making art and challenging herself to explore adulting in new ways. 

When you begin to accept yourself for who you are and build habits that support you, you begin to experiene more creativity, joy, and peace. 

The magical combination of self-acceptance and tools that support you is the magic that helps you unlock your blueprint, your spark, your sauce. When you start to feel this energy within yourself, you naturally begin to leave an impact on the world. It doesn’t matter how big it is or how many people it reaches, it matters how authentic it is to you.

Whether it be to your closest family and friends or a community. Whether it be in a way that challenges people or a way that connects you to people, you will impact people by your authenticity. Your impact is important, your joy is important, your authenticity is important.

After all you are one, beautiful and unique fractal of light.